


The Martian

by omgericzimmermann (HMSLusitania)



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: M/M, seriously, the martian au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-30
Updated: 2016-06-30
Packaged: 2018-07-19 07:40:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7352044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HMSLusitania/pseuds/omgericzimmermann
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eric Bittle was excited to be the first openly gay astronaut. He was thrilled to be the sixteenth person to ever set foot on Mars. </p><p>He was less excited to live there for a year and a half. </p><p>(have you seen/read the Martian? It's that, but with Check Please characters)</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Martian

**Author's Note:**

> So, I've discovered I'm not wild about oddly specific AUs like this, where there's a very obvious prescribed plot that should be followed. I mean, I did it, and it was fun, but there are a lot of holes (for obvious reasons) and if you are confused about what's going on, please consult either the book The Martian by Andy Weir or the movie The Martian directed by Ridley Scott. If you haven't consumed either of those, this story will probably be a little opaque. 
> 
> It is important to note that (yes I’m going to use this space to air my grievances with the movie The Martian) in the book, Dr Beck is the EVA specialist – the people who go outside in suits and do space walks, this is why Seb Stan was always the one running around on the outside of the Hermes – not Commander Lewis and in the book Dr Beck, doing his fucking job, is the one who pulls Watney out of the MAV when they’re in distant orbit around Mars. For Reasons, I have made our friend Commander Zimmermann the EVA specialist. This also means I made Nursey both the crew doctor and geologist but it’s irrelevant enough to not matter.
> 
> Also of note - I am not qualified to write this AU because yes, I am a space geek, but my degree is in medieval european history, which is almost literally as far from space travel as you can possibly get.

_Acidalia Planitia, Mars_

“What’s the abort limit?” Dr Nurse asks, crossing his arms and frowning at the display. The rest of the crew is crowded around to read it.

“We just reached it,” Commander Zimmermann says. “We’re scrubbed.”

“But Commander!” Eric protests.

They’re the third crew to ever set foot on Mars. He, Eric Richard Bittle, was the sixteenth person to ever step onto the red planet between Adam Birkholtz – astrodynamics – and Will Poindexter – engineering and computer science. They’ve only been there for eighteen sols. Their mission is supposed to take another twelve sols. But then there was a storm warning, and now they’re scrubbed.

“Commander!” Eric repeats, following him back to the sleeping quarters. “Commander we can’t just--”

“Yes, we can, Bittle,” Commander Zimmermann snaps, staring at him with cold, cold blue eyes. Eric glares back up. He’s not angry enough to the point of insubordination, but there’s added pressure on him, specifically, since he’s the first openly gay astronaut to land on another planet.

Granted, when they were on the Hermes travelling to Mars, it came out – as it were – that the vast majority of their crew is gayer than the city of San Francisco during Pride, but Eric is the only one who’s officially out. If their mission is the one to fuck up, if they’re the ones to leave early, then there are going to be a lot of people who blame it on the fact they sent one of The Gays to space.

Eric manages to spit out a _yes sir_ and prepares to scrub.

The visibility outside is worse than any of them have seen since arriving in Mars.

“This is worse than Russian winter,” their pilot, Alexei Mashkov, complains.

“As long as the MAV doesn’t tip we’ll be fine,” Commander Zimmermann says. “We’ll meet up with the Hermes in orbit and--”

Sound only travels because of atmosphere. Eric knows this, he knows it’s pretty much the only true line in _Alien_ (in space no one can hear you scream), so absently, in a very distant way, it doesn’t surprise him that he doesn’t hear the radio antenna before it hits him. He hears all the warning alarms his EVA suit gives off. And then, nothing.

“Where’s Bittle?” Commander Zimmermann says.

“Commander, the MAV is tipping,” Mashkov says. “If it tips much farther we will not make it.”

“Can anyone get his signal?” Birkholtz asks. “Bittle!”

“Shouting into the coms isn’t going to help if he’s unconscious Birkholtz!” Poindexter replies.

“Poindexter, can you boost the signal on his suit?” Zimmermann asks.

“I’m not getting a signal at all,” Poindexter says.

“Commander the MAV,” Mashkov says.

They have to make it to the Hermes or all six of them are going to die. Jack knows this, just as much as he knows Bittle’s already dead. If anything punctured his suit, then he’s –

They strap into their seats and Jack can’t bring himself to say the words. He’s going to be the commander who left a man on Mars. It doesn’t really matter if he’s already dead. He’s the legacy astronaut, he’s the one who grew up with people whispering over his shoulder that he only got the command because his father is Commander Bob Zimmermann, the first man back on the moon since the Apollo missions, and Jack’s the first one to fuck up.

And it’s worse because it’s _Bittle_ , sweet, adorable Eric Bittle who somehow talked the engineers at JPL into sending them ingredients for both mashed potatoes and pumpkin pie while they were stocking food for the mission.

“Commander,” Mashkov says. “Commander I need your permission to launch.”

Jack takes a shaky breath that he knows everyone can hear over the coms. “Launch.”

*

_NASA Press Room_

“Eighteen sols into the Ares III mission, Commander Jack Zimmermann made the decision to scrub the mission based on the storm warnings from NASA,” B.S. Knight, the director of NASA, says. “The storm proved to be more severe than our initial calculations suggested. Commander Zimmermann, along with astronauts Birkholtz, Poindexter, Nurse, and Mashkov successfully rendezvoused with the Hermes space craft and are on their way back to Earth. Tragically, Astronaut Eric Bittle was struck by a piece of debris and killed.”

The press goes wild and Director Knight beats a hasty retreat from the podium while leaving his ever more capable press secretary Caitlin Farmer to fix anything shitty he’s just said. After all, he’s just an environmental lawyer with a passion for space who somehow found himself in charge of NASA and he’s not entirely sure on any given day how that happened.

His day gets worse when his office door bursts open again and Kent Parson, director of the Ares missions, invites himself in.

“Don’t,” Director Knight warns. “I’ve already got Washington breathing down my neck about how it could’ve been worse because we could’ve killed the Russian, and--”

“It _is_ bad,” Kent says. “You killed the gay kid with the bambi eyes.”

“Go fuck yourself Parson,” Director Knight recommends.

“Well that was fast,” another voice says and Director Knight seriously considers bashing his head on his desk. Because no one is better at getting under his skin – not even Kent Parson – than the crew director, Larissa Duan.

“Look, it’s a goddamn tragedy, but we’re the only thing any of the news cycles are going to talk about for a while,” Kent says. “We can use this to get congress to approve us for another mission.”

“And what? Because I was talking to the guys in meteorology and we can’t exactly point the satellites at Acidalia Planitia anytime soon,” Director Knight says.

“Why not?” Larissa asks.

Kent sighs. “Because there’s no organic compounds on Mars,” he says. “Bittle’s never going to decompose.”

Larissa looks duly horrified by this.

“But I talked to the guys in meteorology and he should be covered up in about a year due to shifting sands and--”

“A year?” Kent demands. “But if we strike now, I can get us funded for another mission!”

“What kind of heartless hellhole did they dig you out of?” Larissa asks.

“Albany,” Kent replies without missing a beat.

“We can’t show the body of a dead astronaut on TV, Parson,” Director Knight says.

“So we make it clear, without ever actually saying it, that we’re sending Ares VI to get Bittle’s body,” Kent says.

Director Knight feels himself actually considering it while Larissa gives them both a disgusted look.

“You’re both terrible people,” she says.

*

_Acidalia Planitia, Mars_

“Hey y’all,” Eric says to the Hab log after he’s patched himself up. “So…I’m not dead! Surprise!”

He considers what else he’s going to say, but he has no idea. The MAV is gone, the crew is gone. He’s…he’s alone on an entire planet.

“I want to make it clear to anyone watching back home – which I don’t know how you would be since I got stabbed by the communications array so I can’t exactly tell NASA I’m still alive – but this is not Commander Zimmerman’s fault. He did exactly what he was supposed to,” Eric continues. “He did everything he was supposed to. Ironically, I’m the one who wanted to keep him from scrubbing the mission, so I guess I got my wish.”

He’s cold, he can feel the Hab shaking in the wind, he’s _alone on an entire goddamn planet._

“I’m not gonna die here,” he decides.

*

_The Hermes, somewhere between Mars and Earth_

“I’m just worried, man,” Derek says, leaning against one of the windows in the gym. Will is using one of the treadmills, and maybe Derek gets a little too much enjoyment from watching him run. “I don’t think Zimmermann’s talked to anyone except to give orders since we left.”

“Yeah, well, Eric was always the one who made him human,” Will replies, turning off the treadmill and taking a long drink of water. Derek does his best not to follow the trail of the water droplet down Will’s throat, but it’s not easy.

“God, that poor kid,” Derek says.

*

_Acidalia Planitia, Mars_

“So I figured something out,” Eric says to the log. “I am easily the smallest person on the Ares III crew. By a lot. I mean, Adam and Alexei are both 6’4” and Derek and Will are both 6’2” and, hell, even Jack is 6’1. NASA had to specifically pack us more protein than they would’ve for a normal crew so that those boys could eat enough. And then for redundancy they packed twice as much food as we could ever need. Not to mention, we were supposed to be up here for Thanksgiving, and I talked JPL into packing us things for a proper Thanksgiving dinner, and that was a Thanksgiving dinner for six men, five of whom are really giant. And, more importantly, they packed me potatoes. Potatoes with eyes. So if I can somehow get organic matter into the soil, I should be able to grow them.

“I’m not gonna die here,” he adds, which is how he’s been signing off all of his logs.

*

_Johnson Space Centre, Houston_

Tony Gonzalez is good at his job. He’s good at watching the satellite feeds from the ones they’ve got in orbit around Mars. He’s good at picking out the minute differences and remembering how things looked days before. He’s good at figuring out when things have happened like the Mars rover moving.

“What the fuck?” he whispers to himself, turning back to Sol 18 when the Ares III crew had left. Rover 1 had been parked next to the Hab. Now it’s parked in front and the solar panels are clear.

He can’t lie to himself, his first instinct was to think aliens, since he joined NASA because someday he’s going to work for SETI and goddammit he’s going to be the one who finds that extra-terrestrial life.

But barring that as an explanation, it’s very clear what’s happened.

“I need the emergency number for Kent Parson,” he says into his phone. “Yes it’s an emergency!”

Kent turns up at the crack of dawn and stares at the pictures Tony puts in front of him.

“See, the rover--”

“Yeah, I can see it,” Kent says, taking a deeper drink of his coffee. “Holy shit.”

“Eric Bittle’s still alive,” Tony says.

They call Director Knight and Larissa and the four of them stare at the screen together.

“Any other possible explanations?” Director Knight asks.

Tony doesn’t say “aliens” but he thinks it.

“It’s pretty cut and dried, Director,” Larissa says. “We’ve got to tell the press.”

*

Caitlin Farmer is very good at her job. She’s probably the best press secretary NASA’s ever had, including the one they had during the Challenger tragedy. So she’s not sure why she thought it would be a good idea to have both Director Knight and Kent Parson at the podium together to make the announcement that Eric Bittle was alive.

“Do you have plans to rescue Astronaut Bittle?” one of the reporters asks.

“We’re doing everything we can,” Kent says.

The press goes wild and Director Knight and Caitlin have to drag Kent off the stage.

“Are you out of your mind? We don’t know how we’re going to get him back, if we even can!” Director Knight snaps.

Kent shrugs. “Well it’s on public record now. Now we have to do something.”

“We’re going to have to talk to JPL,” Director Knight says, once he’s finished glaring at Kent. “See if they’ve got anything they can do. Maybe we could send a probe to resupply him so he doesn’t starve to death.”

“I can talk to them,” Caitlin offers.

Kent and Director Knight stare at her. She shrugs, trying not to blush, since it’s definitely an opportune excuse to talk to Chris Chow, chief engineer of JPL.

“Okay,” Director Knight says, clearly too tired to argue.

Caitlin goes off to talk to Chris and Kent returns to mission control to check in with Tony.

Bittle’s on the move.

*

_Acidalia Planitia, Mars_

“I realised,” Eric says to the camera. “I’ve got to find a way to communicate with NASA. They might know I’m alive, but we need to talk to each other. There’s got to be some way to do it. But I figured it out. Pathfinder! It’s not even that far away from the Hab, so it’s good practice in case I have to go to Schiaparelli Crater and hijack the MAV for Ares IV.

“On the other hand, I think I’m going to go crazy before we get anywhere close to that point. Commander Zimmermann is the only one who left his personal hard drive behind – since mine died horribly on Sol 3 – and he’s got literally nothing but Dad Rock. This is literally the most crossover genre song he owns.”

Eric flips the switch and “Crash Into Me” by Dave Matthews Band starts playing. He looks into the camera with a dead eyed stare.

“I remember back when we were prepping for the mission, he used to come to my apartment several hours before dawn so he could drag me out for calisthenics. Like I’m somehow not in good shape already. I’m a fucking astronaut, Commander! I had to pass all the same physicals you did!

“Seriously, it was always like four in the morning, and he’d drag me on these long ass runs because the fitness programme NASA had us on wasn’t enough for him and Jack Zimmermann works harder than God. But he always singled me out because I’m the little one. Like he thought everyone else was more qualified. Because who the hell needs a botanist on a planet where nothing grows, right?”

Eric doesn’t really want to think about those mornings, since they’re actually overwhelmingly good memories. Especially since half the time, they’d finish Jack’s instituted run, and then Eric would drag him home for breakfast and Jack would always eat it, regardless of his complaints that Eric’s cooking undid any of the good work they’d just put into their bodies.

He tries not to think about Commander Zimmermann for the rest of the trip to reclaim Pathfinder. It works poorly.

*

_Johnson Space Centre, NASA_

They need to discuss telling the crew. Larissa has brought it up to Director Knight, and to Parson, but they both ignored her. They’re waiting until Bittle gets back to the Hab with Pathfinder so that they can communicate with him. Larissa’s still pissed, and the only person who seems to agree with her is Caitlin Farmer.

“It’s like they don’t realise Commander Zimmermann is considering putting himself out an airlock in penance,” Larissa complains over coffee in her office. The JPL team and Parson are trying to get their clone of Pathfinder working properly so they can communicate. She hears it’s something to do with hexadecimals and computers were never her strong suit.

“You don’t think he’d actually…” Caitlin replies, brow furrowing in concern.

“No,” Larissa says. “But I got to know all of them when they were training and Zimmermann’s going to be freaking out.”

“Because he was the commander in charge when an astronaut got left on Mars?” Caitlin asks.

“Something like that,” Larissa agrees. Because yes, partly because an astronaut got left on Mars, but specifically because it was Eric Bittle.

*

_Acidalia Planitia, Mars_

“Hey y’all,” Eric says to the camera in the rover. “I got Pathfinder working again. The NASA guys sent me a few lines of code so I can patch the Rover computer in to Pathfinder’s communications array. So with just a few lines of code – and thanks Will for having a hexadecimal chart in your personal effects, you giant geek – I should be able to talk to NASA.”

Eric types a few things into the computer and he waits.

He almost falls asleep waiting, but then it pings.

NASA: Eric, it’s Larissa Duan, the crew director. Are you receiving me?

ROV1: loud and clear! – ERB

NASA: That’s excellent news. How are you doing?

ROV1: I’m pretty good. Don’t tell the Republicans but there’s an entire planet populated just by the gays :D

ROV1: how’s the crew? Did Jack panic when you told them I was still alive? You did tell him it’s not his fault right?

ROV1: are you receiving me?

NASA: we haven’t told the crew yet.

Eric stares at the computer in shock. He feels a little like he’s just short circuited.

ROV1: what the fuck?

NASA: Eric, this is Kent Parson, director of the Ares Missions. Until we had a way to communicate with you, we needed them to focus on their mission. They’ve still got a long trip home.

ROV1: right.

*

_The Hermes, Somewhere between Mars and Earth_

There’s been a stop on their mail for weeks. The rest of the crew keeps bugging Will about it since he’s their tech guy, as if they’re all somehow technologically incompetent (Adam’s a fucking astrodynamic physicist. They’re all literal rocket scientists). But then they finally get a video message.

“Boys?” It’s from Larissa Duan, their crew director. “We’re sorry for stopping your mail. There were developments on the ground that we needed to get a better handle on before we could share it with you and we needed to make sure that you weren’t going to find out by accident. For the record, I wanted to tell you immediately.”

She takes a deep breath.

“Eric Bittle is still alive,” she says, and Will feels his stomach drop out. “We recently gained a way to contact him. He’s fine, and he keeps saying it’s not your fault. He started growing potatoes and keeps making jokes about being the best botanist on an entire planet and the fact Mars is now populated entirely by ‘the gays’.”

“Not like it wasn’t when all six of us were there,” Derek says from over Will’s shoulder. Will hadn’t even realised he was there. “We’ve got to tell the rest of the crew.”

*

Jack can do nothing but stare at the wall in front of him.

Eric is still alive. He isn’t the first commander to kill one of his crewmates, he’s the first commander to strand someone on a planet. And it was Eric Bittle. He knows himself well enough to know he wouldn’t be this upset if it was one of the others. Not that he doesn’t care very deeply about everyone on his crew but Eric is something else entirely. He’s _good_. Not that the others aren’t but they don’t have the same deep-seated decency and goodness as Eric Bittle.

Jack is jolted out of his sheer anger with himself when Mashkov knocks on his door.

“Commander, we are being allowed to talk to Bitty,” Mashkov says. “Come.”

Jack follows him back to the common room and crowds around the computer with the others. Birkholtz has elected himself in charge of typing.

ROV1: They’re finally letting me talk to you guys! You have no idea how good it is to know you’re all safe!

HERM: we have no idea? Bits, we thought you were DEAD.

ROV1: Yeah, but I’m not. I’m growing potatoes! But they probably told you that. Who’s typing?

HERM: Birkholtz. I’m better with a keyboard than anyone besides Dexy-poo.

HERM: Birkholtz has been forced to cede the keyboard to someone else since he’s in a headlock (it’s Nurse)

ROV1: Y’all play nice now. This mission only has room for one tragedy and I don’t think it’s gonna be “Astronaut Adam Birkholtz tragically strangled by Astronaut Will Poindexter”

HERM: You’re not going to be a tragedy, Bits. You’re going to be the biggest damn success story the history and science books have ever heard of. We love you

ROV1: I love you guys too.

ROV1: And tell Jack it’s not his fault.

*

_Jet Propulsion Laboratory, Pasadena, CA_

They’re overworked. They don’t have enough time. Even if by the grace of God – which Chris doesn’t really believe in but that’s whatever at this point – there’s very little chance he’s going to succeed in getting a probe successfully working and off the ground in the time window they have, let alone get it to _Mars_ before Eric Bittle runs out of food.

The only upside of the near constant conversations he’s having with NASA is that the very pretty press secretary is usually in them. And he’ll take any opportunity to talk to Caitlin Farmer, even if it means he’s usually in a teleconference with her, Director Knight, Larissa Duan, and Kent Parson.

“Yeah, I’ve got my guy in astrodynamics working on it,” Chris says. “We’ve got the calculations for the time window whenever the probe is ready to launch but I’m worried about the window we’ve got.”

“We all are,” Parson says, running his hand through his hair. Two pieces towards the front stay upright while the rest falls over.

“What can we do to make that window bigger?” Director Knight asks.

There’s a discussion about cutting inspections that makes Chris nervous, and it clearly makes Caitlin nervous as well, and they make eye contact through the webcam that forces Chris to blush and look away.

“At least Bittle is still growing food,” Larissa says, pinching the bridge of her nose.

*

_Acidalia Planitia, Mars_

“So…” Eric says, leaning against the wall of the rover and staring at the camera. “The Hab blew up. I’m – all my potatoes froze, but at least they were at harvest stage, so it’s just like they’ve been freeze dried. But the soil is dead. All of the bacteria I had cultivating are dead and I can’t get them back. I told NASA and they’re working on accelerating their probe so that I can survive until Ares IV gets here. In four years. I guess it’s only three now. I’ve been here for almost nine months.

“I can’t stop thinking about when we were all on the Hermes together. God, we had such a great time. Adam talked us all into playing Dungeons & Dragons with him. Derek and Will were so competitive about it. I don’t even know if they know it, but they’re so stupid in love with each other it’s almost funny. Or it would be if it wasn’t also fucking tragic, you know? Shared life experience is hard enough for astronauts, but it’s gonna be even harder after this. If I survive, someday I’ll get to tell my kids stories about ‘you know in my day we had to walk up hill both ways in an EVA suit on Mars.’”

Eric takes a shuddering breath and gives the camera a smile that says he’s trying very hard not to cry.

“I’m gonna email the crew,” he says. “And hope NASA gets that probe to me real damn quick.”

*

_Dear Holster,_

_You are the best astrodynamics person I have ever met. I’m so glad I got to spend our training time together and I’m so damn glad to have known you. I hope when you get back to Earth, you can find someone who loves you – not in spite of all your quirks, but because of them. Someone who will sing karaoke with you, someone who won’t throw dice at you during a D &D game, someone who _gets _it when you start talking about outer space._

_You’re an amazing person._

_Bitty_

*

_JPL, Pasadena, CA_

Justin Oluransi is very good at what he does. It’s a blessing because he’s sort of a weird person and most of his co-workers don’t talk to him. He’s not sure if it’s because he spends most of his time actually living in his office or if it’s because once one of the guys from engineering found him curled up under one of the tables in the mess hall muttering about approach angles.

“Hey, Oluransi,” Chris Chow says, poking his head into the office. It’s approximately three in the morning. “How are the timelines coming for the Iris Probe?”

“They’re all gonna be the same, as long as we keep up with the hand off window,” Justin says, waving his hand generally at his computers. “You know it would almost be easier if--”

He cuts off because it _would_. It would be so much easier to just –

But he’s got to check that math. They’d have to resupply, they’d have to –

The month long deceleration period is about to start _now_ so if he’s going to propose this plan it has to be _now._

“Almost easier if?” Chris prompts.

“I--” Justin says, scooping up his papers and slipping on the ones still on the floor. “I have to – I’ll be taking a vacation?”

He runs out of the room, and hears Chris say, vaguely at his retreating back, “You do understand that I’m your boss, right?”

*

_Dear Tater,_

_It was a delight to get to know you. And it was so much fun brushing up on my Russian. I hadn’t thought about it since I stopped figure skating, but gosh it was so fun. Especially on the Hermes since it drove Jack so crazy to hear us chatting away in Russian like he – a Canadian-American – wasn’t aware it was an international mission. I hope you get to be exactly the kind of hero the Russian cosmonaut programme needs. Actually, scratch that, you already are._

_I’m so glad I know you._

_Bitty_

_*_

_Johnson Space Centre_

“I still think we should’ve done the safety checks,” Caitlin says, crossing her arms and watching the launch screen. JPL has outdone itself, getting the probe ready in record time, but in order to buy Bittle as much time as they possibly could, they scrapped most of the safety checks. “Because if it goes wrong and word gets out that we didn’t?”

“I’ll take the fall for it,” Director Knight says.

“Alright folks, it’s time for pre-flight!” Larissa says into her speaker.

After they’re clear across the board, the boosters fire up, and the probe heads towards the atmosphere, towards Mars. It looks like it’s going to clear, like it’s all going to be fine. Caitlin breathes a sigh of relief.

“What’s that shimmy?” Parson asks. All eyes are back on the screen. “Flight, what’s with the fishtailing?”

“We’re getting off target,” Flight responds. Caitlin feels the fear wrap around her heart and squeeze. “We’re entering the red--”

He can’t even say the red zone before the probe explodes.

There’s nothing but silence in the control room until a ping comes from one of the computers.

 **ROV1** : How’d the launch go?

 **ROV1** : Guys?

*

_Dex,_

_I know you spend most of your time wanting to strangle Derek, and I get that, I do. He’s a spoiled rich boy from the Upper West Side, and you paid for space camp as a kid working on your uncle’s lobster boat. I get it. But that boy looks at you like you hung the moon even though he’s an astronaut and knows that’s impossible. I’m not telling you that you ought to date him, especially since it’s against mission regulations and stuff, but maybe when you get back to Earth, you could visit him in New York and you guys could go to the Rose Centre and maybe watch the stars sometime._

_You’re a brilliant man._

_Bitty_

_*_

_Johnson Space Centre_

“The Chinese have a booster,” Director Knight says, addressing what’s become his cabinet. Caitlin Farmer, Kent Parson, Larissa Duan, Chris Chow on the teleconference, and for some reason he can’t really fathom, the kid from mission control who figured out Bittle was still alive, Tony Gonzalez. “As long as we can keep the governments out of it, keep it all within the scientific community--”

“Ask forgiveness rather than permission,” Larissa interprets.

“Then they’re willing to give it to us to get a new probe to Bittle. The nutritionists are helping him figure out how to survive until then, but we don’t have a lot of time,” Director Knight says.

The rest of the team is ready to agree when the door bursts open. Director Knight can hear his secretary telling whoever it is that they can’t go in there, but the man is inside anyway.

“I know how to save Bittle,” he says.

“Oluransi?” Chris asks from the screen. “I thought you were on vacation.”

“Yeah,” Oluransi – whoever he is – says with a dismissive wave in Chris’s direction. “We can save Bittle.”

“How?” Parson asks.

“So the Hermes is – it’s rockets work by constantly accelerating,” Justin says. “Right now they’re about to enter a month long deceleration period so that they can safely enter the drydock in orbit for repairs and whatever. But.”

“But?” Parson asks.

“But they should start speeding up,” Justin says. “Use a gravity assist from earth’s orbit, and resupply with some kind of probe and then head back to Mars. We’re still in the hand off window. They’ll get there before any probe would.”

“I can’t ask my astronauts to spend another eighteen months in space,” Director Knight says.

“They’re astronauts,” Larissa says. “They’d do it if you offered them nothing more than a pat on the back, let alone the opportunity to save their crewmate’s life.”

“No,” Director Knight says. “I’m not putting five people in more danger. The new probe with the booster from the Chinese will work.”

He can see the disappointment in Parson and Farmer’s eyes, but he misses the mutiny in Larissa’s.

*

_Dear Nursey,_

_I’m pretty sure you became a doctor just so you could tell people your name was Doctor Nurse, which I fully support. You should know – in case you don’t – that your poster outsold everyone else’s. I’m if you wanted to step out of the life of science we’ve all chosen and turn to male modelling, they’d take you in a second. Fortunately for all of us, you’re a total space geek. Be gentle with Will, though. He’s definitely into you, he’s just…I’d guess scared. Having feelings for people who (you think) are out of your league is terrifying. I’d tell you to just kiss him, but that’s against mission regulations. But it should probably be the first thing you do when you get back to Earth._

_You’re phenomenal._

_Bitty_

_*_

_The Hermes, Between Mars and Earth_

“Will? Sorry, I just – my sister sent me a picture of her kids and I can’t get it to open,” Adam says, appearing at Will’s side in the gym. Will is trying not to notice Derek, who’s sitting in the window and watching him run. He’s also trying not to think about Eric’s email because he’s right. Will definitely has feelings for Derek, and he does want to go to the Rose Centre with him, and yeah, he wants to watch the stars with him.

“Let me see what I can do,” Will says, getting off the treadmill and crossing to the nearest screen. The email looks normal, sent from Adam’s sister’s email. But the attachment is much bigger than it should be for just one picture. He checks it and there’s just a jumble of code.

“What is that?” Derek asks, frowning at it.

Will shrugs and looks at it closer. Then he frowns. “Hang on,” he says. “It’s just ASCII and--”

He types a few things and the code corrects itself so that the document actually renders.

“What is that?” Will asks.

“Those are course corrections,” Adam says, already tracing the route and mentally checking the math. “We’d be back in eight months.”

“Back where?” Derek asks.

Adam grins, definitely mischievous. “Mars.”

*

_Dear Jack,_

_When I was a kid, I watched your dad land on the moon. It’s part of the reason I’m an astronaut and all, but what I remember most about all those interviews and all that press coverage was that Bob Zimmermann had a stupidly cute son. Imagine my surprise when I was selected for this mission and actually got to meet you, and work with you and_ know _you. And you’re an incredible person, Jack. You’re so good at keeping us all together, keeping us working together, keeping us on mission, even when Will is giving Derek crap for tripping over nothing, or when you’re complaining about how poorly the Habs are doing even though we were a month away from Mars. And I know you well enough to know you’ve spent the past eight months beating yourself up over me, but don’t you dare. I was the one who wanted to stay, remember? I just…got slightly more than I bargained for. But I don’t regret it. Not one damn bit._

_But I’m gonna need you to do something for me, when you get back. I need you to talk to my parents. Tell them I loved them so much, and thank them so much for supporting me, and tell them I love what I do. Tell them I don’t, for a second, regret it. And tell my mom she owes you a lifetime supply of pie, because one of the Bittles has to represent and I’m not gonna be able to do it._

_And because I’ve been alone here for too long to have filters anymore, I love you._

_Eric_

_*_

_The Hermes, Between Mars and Earth_

“Hypothetically when we decide to do this,” Derek says.

“Hypothetically,” Will agrees.

“Adam can you plot this course?” Derek asks.

“It’s the sexiest math I have ever seen in my entire life and when I find out who Justin Oluransi is, he will know that he’s earned himself a lifetime supply of blowjobs,” Adam says. “Yeah I can plot it.”

“They can override us from mission control,” Will points out.

“Can you hack the computers?” Derek asks.

“I’d have to hack each system individually, and then the redundant systems, and all in all it would be twelve separate systems,” Will says. Derek looks at him. “Yeah, I can do it.”

“Okay, but if they don’t resupply us, we die,” Jack says. “If something malfunctions and we can’t fix it, we die. If everything works and we get back to Mars, we get Eri – Bittle – and then come home, we add seventeen more months to our mission. That’s seventeen more months in space. Seventeen more months until we can see our families again. We’ll be commandeering a piece of government property against orders, which makes it mutiny. None of us will ever go to space again, Mashkov will probably be extradited to Russia, and I’ll probably be court martialled.”

Even as he hears himself say all these things, all these very true things, it’s taking all of his willpower not to get back to the cockpit as fast as he can and turn the thrusters back on.

“I turn on thrusters now?” Alexei asks, starting to push himself out of his chair.

“Easy there,” Jack says. “This has to be unanimous.”

“Yeah, of course, I’m in,” Adam says.

“No question,” Derek agrees.

“Yeah,” Will says. “Commander, it’s Bitty.”

“Then let’s do this,” Jack says.

*

_Johnson Space Centre_

“Dr Parson?” Tony asks, tapping Kent on the shoulder. “Uh, the Hermes is off course.”

“Sorry?” Kent replies, following him back to the computer. The screen shows the projected course of the Hermes, and the course they’re supposed to be on. They’re not anywhere near it.

And they’re accelerating.

It takes moments for Larissa, Caitlin, and Director Knight to join them in mission control, staring at the screen. They’re still staring as the comment from the crew pops up on the screen.

 **HERM:** NASA, please be advised that Justin Oluransi is a steely eyed missile man.

“Wasn’t – wasn’t Justin Oluransi that astrodynamics guy from JPL?” Tony asks.

“Oh holy shit,” Kent says.

*

_Acidalia Planitia, Mars_

Eric beams into the camera in the Hab, still obviously in shock and entirely unable to believe what’s happening.

“Hey y’all, so the probe blew up. They couldn’t send me food that way, but – but the Hermes crew is coming back for me. They’re – they mutinied so that they could come get me, and I’m just--”

He has to pause so that he can wipe his eyes.

“I’ve got a lot of work to do. I have to get to the Ares IV landing site so that I can steal their MAV and use it to get to distant Mars orbit, which should be a trip,” he continues. “It’s, uh, it’s gonna suck a little, but no worse than everything else I’ve had to do on Mars. I just still can’t believe it, even if I have to travel 3500km across Mars to escape that’s still better than nothing.

“I’m not gonna die here.”

*

_The Hermes, Earth orbit_

They just have to collect the probe sent by NASA and the Chinese, then they can use the gravity assist to slingshot past Earth and head back out to Mars. Everything goes off without a hitch for the first time since Sol 18 and Jack’s glad because it means that A) his crew is probably not going to die, and B) they’ve still got time to talk to their families before they leave teleconference range.

He watches Adam chat with his sisters and his nieces and nephews, blowing bubbles in the 0g with his water. He sees Will tell his grandma all of the interesting things he can think of about space travel. Alexei cheers in rapid-fire Russian while his nephew tells him all about his latest hockey games and how excited he is for when Uncle Alyosha is going to be back and able to coach him.

Then it’s Jack’s turn. He’s apprehensive as the connection clicks in and then his parents’ faces are in the screen, and his mom looks like she’s been crying pretty recently, but his dad’s smiling.

«I’m so proud of you Jack,» is the first thing out of his dad’s mouth.

«Really? Because I did just commit mutiny,» Jack points out while his mom touches the screen like she can touch his face.

«Yes, but you’re doing it for the right reasons. You’re saving a man’s life,» his mom points out in her oh so American accent.

«I’m also the one who left him on Mars in the first place,» Jack says.

«You don’t get to blame yourself for that. Bittle was dead, Jack. I’m sure he doesn’t blame you for that either,» his mom says.

«No, he doesn’t,» Jack admits. «I just--»

«No don’t fight us on this one,» his dad interrupts. «You just go bring that boy home.»

Jack tells them he loves them, and they hang up.

“Nurse, you’re up,” Jack says, passing Derek in the hallway where he’s floating with Will.

“Oh, uh, I’m good,” Derek says.

“Why?” Will asks, frowning at him.

Derek shrugs. “I don’t have anyone to call,” he says with an attempt at a smile. “But hey! Let’s go get Bitty back.”

*

_Acidalia Planitia, Mars_

“So unless you count the trip to Mars on the Hermes, the only road trip I’ve ever been on was the one from Massachusetts to Florida when we were heading to Cape Canaveral to get _on_ the Hermes,” Eric says. “Adam drove from Buffalo to Boston to pick Will up, then to New York City to get Derek, and then DC to get Jack and Alexei, and then they picked me up in Madison. Adam said it was because we all needed a better chance to bond, like being on a space ship together for eighteen months wasn’t going to be enough.

“Now I’ve got to drive the rover across the better part of the planet, by myself. I don’t know how I’m going to handle that without Adam singing along to all the pop songs on the radio while Jack glared so hard I thought he was gonna accidentally murder him.

“On the bright side, I finally found Alexei’s music, so I can stop listening to Jack’s weird fascination with James McMurtry and James Taylor and Jimmy Buffet and apparently all men named James. On the downside, all of Alexei’s music is in Russian, and I’m pretty sure it’s just the Russian equivalent of Jack’s music.

“Oh! And I got an email from MIT, my alma mater, telling me that when I planted those potatoes, I had officially colonised Mars. So yeah, take that Neil Armstrong.”

*

_The Hermes, Between Earth and Mars_

There are a few mechanical bugs in the Hermes now that it’s been in space and out of dry-dock much longer than it was intended. It’s designed to last for the entire string of Ares missions, I-V, but it was always supposed to get repairs in between. Will can fix the internal ones, but he’s not their EVA specialist, so they can’t send him outside to fix things, and Jack, who is their EVA specialist, doesn’t have the necessary mechanical knowhow. Jack knows this isn’t necessarily a major problem, but then he hears Alexei complaining about his room.

“Yes, is very overheated,” Alexei says to Adam. “I am sleeping in Airlock 2 because it is not going to cook me.”

“You’re doing what?” Jack demands. Alexei looks guilty, while the rest of the crew watches the exchange with concern. Jack pinches the bridge of his nose. “Mashkov, stop sleeping in the airlock. You can have Nurse’s room.”

“Where am I supposed to sleep?” Derek asks.

“With Poindexter,” Jack says, glowering at both of them. “Since you already have been.”

Predictably, they both turn red.

“You, uh, you know about that?” Will asks.

“It’s a very small ship,” Jack replies. “Just…don’t tell NASA until we’ve been back for over six months.”

“Aye aye captain,” Derek says, pressing a kiss to Will’s cheek.

*

_Mars_

Eric will never want to look at the colour red ever again. He can see it, if he gets back to Earth, someone will suggest that maybe they ought to go to Nevada or to the Grand Canyon, and he’ll refuse because he’s never ever leaving a place that has a view of at least one river at any given moment. Forests would be good too, he decides. There will be trees, there will be freely flowing water, there will be other people.

Eric can’t help but think this is going to be a very real possibility when he finally reaches the Schiaparelli Crater and sees the Ares IV MAV. He’s going to get out of there.

NASA wants him to essentially disassemble the MAV. They’re sending him into space in an EVA suit and a convertible. They keep repeating that he’s going to go faster than anyone in the history of space travel. It would be cool, except that Eric knows physicists don’t use words like “faster.” They’re doing it to keep him from pointing out how insane it sounds, because it’s another thing he can add to the record books. First openly gay astronaut. First person to colonise another planet. First person to live on another planet for over a year. Fastest man in the history of space travel.

“Let’s do this,” he says to himself, fastening himself into the modified MAV.

“Bittle? Can you hear me?”

He actually starts crying when he hears Alexei’s voice in the coms. He hasn’t heard another human being in seventeen months.

“Loud and clear!” he says back. He can hear the crew in the background. “I’m real excited to get up there and see y’all!”

“We’re looking forward to it!” Derek shouts.

“Okay, pre-flight checks,” Jack commands, and belatedly, Eric realises he told Jack that he loves him because he was under the impression he was about to die.

“We are five by five,” Will says. “Pilot?”

“Go!” Eric says, and he feels the boosters kick in.

He regains consciousness in low orbit. He’s out of Mars’ atmosphere, and he can see it spinning below him, the red so much prettier from a distance.

“Bittle? Bittle, do you copy?” and it’s Jack’s voice over the coms.

“I--” a deep wince because he definitely broke a few ribs. “Shit. Yes, I copy.”

“Good,” Jack says. “Good, that’s – I’m--”

“There’s a problem with the intercept distance,” Will’s voice breaks in, and Eric can perfectly imagine the look Will is giving Jack.

“What is it?” Eric asks, because he’s pretty sure his heart just stopped. After all, he’d promised himself that he wasn’t going to die on Mars, and low orbit around the planet is not technically on it.

“The distance is 238 metres,” Will says.

“Cool, I’ll wave at you guys while I go by,” Eric says, even though he’s screaming internally.

“No, is good, I can get us closer,” Alexei says and Eric could kiss him.

He can see the Hermes as it comes closer and he thinks it’s the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen.

“Intercept distance?” Jack asks.

“Thirty metres,” Will says.

“Good, I can do that,” Jack says.

“But the relative velocity is 42 metres per second,” Will says.

Eric’s heart sinks again. It’s not going to work. He knows they can’t use their reverse thrusters because it’ll use up their fuel and they kind of need that to get home.

“I can do it,” Jack says.

“You’ll squish like bug,” Alexei informs him. “Probably bleed maple syrup.”

“Don’t do anything stupid, Jack, I want all the firsts to be for me in the record books,” Eric says. “And that includes ‘first person killed in interplanetary rescue mission’.”

“You’re not going to die,” Jack says.

“Commander, I’ve got an idea,” Adam says.

Eric doesn’t hear whatever he says, but then the coms click off.

“Guys?” he says, staring at the Hermes in the distance. This would be a very bad moment to have a panic attack.

Fortunately, the coms click back on.

“NASA, please be advised we are blowing a hole in the front of the ship,” Jack says.

“You’re doing what?” Eric demands. “Are you guys insane?”

“Eh,” Adam says, and Eric can hear the shrug in his voice. “You’re the one who just entered orbit in a tin can.”

“Yeah, but I have an excuse! I’ve been in solitary confinement for a year and a half!” Eric scolds. “And I’m crazy desperate.”

“We’re not leaving here without you, Bittle,” Jack says. Bitty thinks he can see him crawling on the outside of the Hermes. Fixing a bomb, he realises.

He watches in horror as a gust of air shoots out of the front of the ship, sending it so quickly backwards it looks like it’s come to a stop.

“What’s the new intercept velocity?” Jack asks.

“Five metres per second,” Will says, and Eric can hear the relief in his voice.

Eric sees Jack coming out of the ship, he sees his gloved hand grab the edge of the MAV and then Jack is in the MAV with him, unbuckling him from the seat and gripping him tightly.

“Reel us in Nurse!” Jack calls over the coms.

Then they’re moving and Eric can’t stop laughing because he’s actually touching another human being – maybe it’s through an EVA suit, but he doesn’t even care anymore – and he’s going _home_.

“Jack?” he says as they float through space to the airlock.

“Yeah?” Jack asks.

“You have the worst taste in music,” Eric informs him, and then they’re in the airlock and the door slams shut, blocking Mars from view.

** **Ten Months Later** **

_JPL, Pasadena, CA_

Adam scans the names on the doors, looking for one in particular. He stops when he gets to the office labelled Justin Oluransi, Astrodynamics. He knocks, and he waits.

“Can I help – you are Adam Birkholtz,” the man in the office says.

He’s taller than Adam expected, almost as tall as he is. He also looks like he hasn’t slept in seven weeks and is holding a cup of coffee. And he’s fucking _gorgeous_.

Adam doesn’t worry about the disaster of an office behind him, even though it looks kind of like Justin sleeps there – well, sleep might be the wrong term – but maybe he just needs someone to ground him.

“I am, and you’re Justin Oluransi?” Adam asks.

“Yeah,” Justin says.

“That was the sexiest math I have ever seen,” Adam says.

“Thanks,” Justin says, a faint blush coming up on his cheeks.

“And, honestly, you’re kind of ridiculously sexy too,” Adam adds. “Do you want to get coffee?”

“Yes,” Justin says almost before Adam’s finished asking. “Can we go now?”

“Absolutely,” Adam agrees, leaning in the doorway while Justin picks up his jacket and wallet. “I should probably warn you though, I haven’t had sex in three years.”

“I can help with that,” Justin replies.

*

_The Rose Centre for Earth and Space, New York City_

“This is so surreal,” Derek says, staring at the picture of the Ares III crew on the wall. It’s near the plaque thanking the Nurse family for their contribution to the centre during its foundation. “Do you understand how much time I spent here as a kid?”

“Not really,” Will says, but he looks amused at Derek’s enthusiasm.

“There’s a picture of us in here!” Derek says, “Right next to the planetarium! There’s – I mean, look at that picture of Mars! We’ve actually _been there_.”

“Derek, I don’t want to be responsible for you screaming in the middle of a museum, but look at the photo credit,” Will suggests, steering him closer to the picture of Mars. Derek looks and feels like he might faint when he reads that it says “Photo credit Derek Nurse.”

“I’m – I think I’m gonna cry,” Derek says.

Will shakes his head fondly and pulls him in for a kiss.

*

_The Air and Space Museum, Washington DC_

Eric stares at the entryway of the museum, taking in the pieces of former space shuttles, the probes, the model of an astronaut hanging at his direct eye level while he’s on the upper storey walkway. He likes DC. There are two rivers, and there are so many trees, and he’s a lot closer to home than he was in Massachusetts. He thinks he might want to stick around for a bit, working with the Smithsonian and local schools to take kids on tours of places like the Air and Space Museum.

“Did you see the Spirit of St Louis?”

Eric jumps at the sound of Jack’s voice. Like he could somehow forget he was there specifically to meet him.

“No, I didn’t,” Eric says, looking where Jack points at the ancient biplane hanging from the ceiling with Charles Lindbergh’s plane name painted jauntily on the nose.

Jack didn’t mention once on the trip home the fact that Eric had admitted to being in love with him. He didn’t even bring up the fact Eric had sent them all emails, even though Eric knows they got them, since Will and Derek got their shit together. And Eric certainly wasn’t going to press it. He was happy enough just to be alive.

“I – uh – I read your email every day,” Jack says suddenly.

“Oh,” Eric squeaks. “Sorry about that. I was being a little dramatic and--”

“I’m not your commanding officer anymore,” Jack interrupts.

Unexpectedly, the thought makes Eric sad. They’ve been back on Earth for a month, but he’s been in contact with all the boys often enough that it still feels like they’re all together. And Jack is their commander, which is how it’s supposed to go.

“No, I guess not,” Eric says. “You were great though, so I’m glad it--”

He’s cut off by Jack taking his face in his hands and kissing him. Eric feels his knees go weak while he wraps his arms around the back of Jack’s neck.

“I’m not your commanding officer anymore,” Jack repeats, resting his forehead against Eric’s. “So it’s not entirely against regulations for me to kiss you or let you know that I love you too.”

Eric beams, stretches on his toes, and kisses him.

**Author's Note:**

> \- But Hayley, there are holes!: yes. This was already almost 9k and I don't know how to science, let alone astrophysics.  
> \- You know Sally Ride was both the first female astronaut and also a lesbian: again, yes. Bitty is supposedly the first _openly_ gay astronaut.  
>  \- Why on earth would Jack live in DC?: because he probably spends a lot of time fighting with congress for money on NASA's behalf, and also I really wanted that last scene to take place at the Air and Space Museum. 
> 
> Come cry with me on [tumblr](http://omgericzimmermann.tumblr.com).


End file.
